Common Courtesy

Joyce Landorf Heatherley wrote a little book titled “Balcony People”[1]. Occasionally I find myself pulling it off the shelf and rereading her words. It’s a small paperback of only 69 pages; yet, it contains volumes on the subject of being an encourager. You see, there were days when folks lived from day to day with conscious, courteous consideration for the other guy.

Recently I have found myself thinking more and more of the demise of common courtesy. You remember that most recent of extinct dinosaurs? There were times even in our recent memories when folks went about their daily routine giving conscious thought about their neighbor. When someone exhibited some kindness in thought or deed the minimum accepted response was usually a kindly spoken, “Thank You!” The idea that one good deed deserves another was common and broadly shared. That idea has been changed to the philosophy that no good deed deserves to go unpunished.

We play our game in a time when there was a distinction between “men” and “gentlemen”, “women” and “ladies.” If we are attempting to be of the rough and tumble, quintessential frontiersmen type, we dress in course cloth, broad leather and heavy boots. We stick a big knife in our belt or boot, big guns on our hips, and attempt to chew and spit tobacco without getting sick. On the other hand, if we are attempting to emulate the more genteel, gentlemanly type, we wear softer cloth more finely cut, softer leather, a slimmer knife and, probably, smaller frame handguns. I’ve noticed there haven’t been many gentlemen on the firing line lately. This is made as obvious for their lack of manners as it is by their dress. Perhaps the “men” on the firing line would benefit by paying more attention to the “ladies” on the firing line.

It appears that in our game today, the drive to win has made a dinosaur of common courtesy. We forget too easy that for someone to win, someone has to loose. Where did they go, those days of conscious consideration for the other guy? What happened to those cowboys that when they won would shake the hand of the looser and compliment him on being a tough and good competitor? Today the street has been turned into a one-way avenue where everyone congratulates the winner and ignores the looser. This drive to win at all costs, this killer of consideration for the other guy has made a dinosaur of the honorable win.

I remember the times when it was fashionable to shake hands with the adversary on the firing line and to acknowledge the little courtesies with a “Thank You!” But, then again, I do have a lot of grey hair.

[1] Heatherley, Joyce Landorf. Balcony People. Balcony Publishing, Salado, Texas. 2004.